Finding Your Value When You Feel Worthless

freeing

Do you ever wish you could have that feeling back that you had when you were a teenager or a kid? That feeling that you could conquer the world? Or at least change it for the better? For most of us, it seems like as we grow older, life finds a way of beating that feeling out of us. We get out in the “real world” and realize all of our dreams are going to take REAL work. HARD work. And you are going to fail. A lot. Most of us aren’t as prepared for it as we thought. Don’t get me wrong. There are those rare diamonds in the rough that are ready and willing to do the work it takes to succeed in life. You guys are my inspiration. My motivation. But for must of us, including me, it takes falling down and getting kicked around a bit to realize we’re going to have to toughen up. And it’s scary.

Yeah. I said it. The real world is scary. I know I sound pathetic right now. Like “Grow up and put your big girl panties on already!”. I get it. But one person can only fall down so much before they start to feel…well…worthless. Life literally beats your confidence out of you and leaves you a broken shell. You can call it depression. But then you start to feel like you aren’t even worthy of feeling depressed. There are people with way worse problems than yours. Who do you think you are? You aren’t depressed. You’re a cry baby. Yeah. I’ve said these things to myself before. I’ve also said things like Why can’t you get your shiz together? Are you really this pathetic? You can’t even handle the basics of life! STOP! Why? Why do we do this to ourselves? We beat ourselves up for being human.

I reiterate my previous statement. Life.Is.Hard. It’s okay to feel defeated or broken. Let me list all the ways today ALONE I feel like I failed:

  • I woke up 20 minutes late despite all my promises to get up EARLY.
  • I took my child to school despite her telling me her tummy hurts. Pull in the parking lot at work, get a call from the day care that she has returned her already eaten pop tart to the classroom floor. Great mommy skills there. :/
  • So I get a free day off work and what do I do? Take a nap and watch TV with my 4 year old. Did I do any cleaning? No. Workout? No. Do anything productive? Nah.
  • I snapped at my two year old rather rudely when she refuses to potty during potty break but 5 minutes later poops her diaper. Again. Great mommy skills.
  • I had every intention of eating healthy today. Did I? Not even close. I say this with 5 empty smarty wrappers beside me.

I can dig deeper and probably list 20 more ways I failed today. But let’s be honest. Are any of these really a reason to feel worthless? Let’s flip the script and look at this from the other side.

  • I got 20 extra minutes of sleep to help energize me for my unpredictable crazy day.
  • I was trying to be a good mommy and make sure my kid didn’t miss a day a school and was crossing my fingers her tummy ache was just that she ate too much.
  • I got a free day off work to cuddle with my sick baby, watch all her favorite shows with her, and get some good one-on-one time with her I don’t normally get. The cleaning and working out can wait.
  • I snapped at my two year out of frustration. Which is wrong. BUT I am only frustrated because I want her to potty train so she doesn’t have to rely on mommy to change her diapers forever. (Lord help me)
  • Eating healthy is great. But I was able to enjoy some of the foods I enjoy like CANDY and Cheetos while I spent quality time with my four year old.

So yeah, there is always a way to positively spin a negative situation. But sometimes, even that isn’t enough. Trying to force yourself to think positively when you feel worthless can make you feel…fake. So here is a list of somethings you can do to help you FEEL more valuable.
*Note: I just want you all to know that no matter what, you are a valuable. Every one was created for a purpose. Sometimes it’s just hard to feel it. So these are simply just things you can do to help you FEEL more valuable. 

  • Get out of bed- I struggle with this one DAILY. Morning’s are not my thing. But when I don’t wake up on time or even early, I end up rushing and feeling frustrated and snapping at my kids. I get to work late and feel like a bad employee. I know that bed can feel comfortable and safe, but it’s really only making matters worse. Get your 8 hours of sleep each night then get up and get moving.
  • Make a schedule- Again. I struggle monumentally with this one. I’ve always been a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants kinda person. Once I got married and had kids, that doesn’t really work anymore. If I don’t have a schedule, I’m running around hectic not really knowing what I’m doing. I end up forgetting things or being more stressed out. I feel like a bad mom or wife for not being able to handle life better. So get a planner or a calendar and write down your daily things that need to be done. Create a cleaning schedule. Write down all your appointments. Put down important dates. And look at that planner every day. Several times a day. Make sure you know what’s coming up for the next week or two. It will so help you prepare and feel less stressed or intimidated.
  • Make a list– Okay, so this one I actually like to do. I list my goals. I list my dreams. My grocery list. My to-do list. List list list. This kinda goes along with scheduling in the fact that it helps you feel more organized and can definitely keep the stress to a minimum.
  • Get outside– If you are a stay-at-home mom or work full time, or whatever, if you sit within four walls all day every day, they can start to close in really quick. I know you may feel comfortable. And sometimes the thought of having to get around others people and interact them when you are feeling depressed can be suffocating. But here’s the thing, you can get outdoors and breathe fresh air without having to come in contact with a single soul. I fully support our nations National Park’s (probably because I graduated with a Parks, Recreation, and Tourism Management). Now, I may have exaggerated a little about the “not a single soul” thing, because if the weather is right, you’ll see others out there. But here’s the thing, you don’t have to interact them. Odds are they are all out there for the same reason. To get away from the hustle and bustle and the stress of their every day life and they just want the peace of nature. Not a nature person? That’s fine too. Just got out in your back yard. Sit on your porch. Sometimes the simple act of breathing fresh air is good for the soul.
  • Read a book– Books are a marvelous thing. They can take you to worlds you never imagined. They can teach you about things you never knew existed. Getting away to another world or into someone else’s story can be freeing. Plus the accomplishment you feel once you finish a book can add a little self value.
  • Write– Let’s just say this, writing this post right now I feel like is already adding some value to my day. I can only hope it adds some value to someone who reads it. Sometimes just getting your thoughts and ideas on paper will help you realize your potential. You have big dreams? Right them down. They don’t seem so intimidating on paper.
  • Do a short work out– So when life is crazy, the thought of going to a gym and working out for hours can seem impossible. But you don’t have to do hours worth of exercise or even go to a gym to work out and feel accomplished. Guys, I work for a gym, have a FREE gym membership and NEVER use it. Being a mom of 2 under the age of 5 and working full time, adding 1-2 extra hours at a gym makes my brain spin. But seriously, make SOME time to workout at home! By some I mean 10-20 minutes. If you can fit in 30, great! Go for it. And do something SIMPLE. Sometimes I literally just run up and down my stairs for 10 minutes and that’s my workout. Do some jumping jacks. Push ups. Sit ups. Jog in place. Do something. Get the endorphin’s going. Science and self proven, endorphin’s are real and really do add some happy to your blue mood. Plus. You will feel accomplished. You will feel proud.
  • Learn something new- This can be literally anything.One of my resolutions for next year is to learn French. Not for any particular purpose. Just for myself. My husband is working on learning to play the piano/keyboard. When you start to learn something and you can see yourself grow, you feel proud. Like, “Wow. I just did that.” You may even find your passion. That one thing that helps you get out of bed at 5 am with a smile instead of a groan.

This is a small list of things that can be done, that I do, to help me feel a little more valuable when all I feel is worthless. That worthless feeling can be crushing, but it won’t go away by hiding. It will only grow and become deeper and darker. Find the strength to drag yourself out of it. I’m trying to find that strength right now. And if I can do it, anyone, everyone can.