The Emotional Atomic Bomb

It can destroy everything around you. It can make your entire life crumble around you. It can kill you from the inside out. It can leave hurt and shame in its wake. It’s nothing you can touch, but you can feel it in every inch of your body. It’s called Anger and it is the most powerful weapon of destruction.

Anger is powerful emotion that we all feel at some point. Even the most laid back person can have their fuse lit by a bad situation. But it’s a natural emotion so it can’t be that bad, right?
Eh. Yes it’s a natural emotion, and FEELING anger is not a bad thing. It’s human. Acting out in anger, that’s where people get in trouble. This is where people get confused and end up feeling guilty because they simply feel angry. This thought process is ridiculous. You are going to feel angry when you are mistreated or done wrong. These are God-given emotions that we shouldn’t be made to feel guilty about.

It’s in the action of anger that people are hurt, families torn apart, and lives potentially destroyed. How can one little emotion cause so much pain? It’s not a little emotion. It is one of the most powerful emotions we as humans can feel. Sometimes I wonder if it is more powerful than love. I know, sounds really dark, but what’s that saying, “You hurt the people closest to you.”? Is it easier for us to get angry at the people we are closest too? In that instance, anger can overshadow any feeling of love we have towards someone. We say things we don’t mean just cause pain to people who have angered us. We try to find ways to hurt people who have hurt us because we are angry.

So how do we handle this overpowering feeling? There are so many articles, post, and even books out there about how to handle anger. Some of them have really great coping methods or ideas. I am not a psychiatrist or therapist and I am NOT an expert on this subject in the least.

I am like everyone else out there. I say things I regret, do things I wish I could take back, feel shame after hurting someone who I care about. I’m imperfect, I’m human, and I’m okay with that. I’m not okay with just letting anger take control of me and how I live my life.My marriage has been on the verge of ending and my family being torn apart because of anger and stubbornness. I have yelled at my kids out of anger and frustration. Thinking about the hurt I’ve caused people I love breaks my heart and I don’t want to be like that anymore.

That’s my motivation. My family. They deserve the very best version of me and a lot of the time, they get the worst after a stressful day at work or a rough night of no sleep. That’s not right and not fair to them. So here is how I plan on fixing that.

1. I will no longer focus on the negative.
When I get in an argument I tend to focus on only the negative of that person. That tends to only escalate the problem and leave me feeling more angry. What if instead of focusing on what I’m angry about or what upsets me about that person, I take a step back and look past that moment and remember how good of person they really are? That may just make whatever we are arguing about so much less important.

2. I will try to be more understanding
I try to make the person I’m arguing with see my side and understand why I’m upset. Most of the time, the other person is just as stubborn as me and they just want me to see their side. This just creates more frustration and anger. So instead, why not be the bigger person and step out of your own way and try to understand WHY the other person is upset. Maybe, just maybe, this will cause us to grow us a person.

3. I will walk away BEFORE things get heated
Sometimes no matter what we do, neither person can come to an understanding and things just keep getting more and more heated. When you start to realize that things are at a stand still and the more you try to fight it the worse the arguments get, maybe it’s time just walk away from the argument and the person for a little bit until things cool down. It’s really hard to have a rational conversation when both people are heated. Maybe the best thing to do is let both people cool down and come back to the subject later.

 

This is just a few things I’m going to try to start putting into practice. I’m going to mess up. I’m going to make mistakes. I’m going to lose my cool again from time to time. I realize that. That doesn’t mean I’m going to give up on trying to be a better person, a better wife, and a better mom. One day I’ll look back and realize how far I’ve really come if I just don’t give up.

anger control

 

The Hardest Step Is Step 1

I’m proud of myself. Really really proud of myself.

That is something I have NOT been able to say in a really long time. For the longest time I would plan all these things I would want to accomplish. I would get excited about what my life would be like if I were able to do all these great things.

Then I would get off the couch. That’s where it would end.

Yeah. I have never been one to follow through on great ideas. Until recently.

Lately I have been so much more productive and I have been enjoying life so much more. I get up in the morning, take care of my kiddos, get the house picked up, find something I want to clean and clean it,  go for a walk with my hubby (normally about 2 miles), spend some quality time with my children, etc etc etc.

I’m living life more and I’m loving it. I feel like I have so much more energy……and happiness.

But you know what I have learned with all this? It’s not EASY. At least not to get started. It’s really hard to muster up the energy and motivation to finally get up off your rear end and just DO something when you are so used to doing NOTHING. But it is SO worth it!

I used to be perfectly okay in my little “bubble of comfort” sitting on the couch, watching my kids play, only getting up when the kids needed something. But that is not LIFE.

I know this sounds so corny and some of you are probably rolling your eyes at this. But that’s okay. This post may not be meant for you. It may not be meant for anyone other than me. It just feels so good to be able to sit down at night and feel like I have accomplished something.

I played with my kids, I cleaned the house, I went to work for a few hours, I ran 3 miles, and now I’m posting on my blog. I know it doesn’t sound like much to some people, but it’s enough to make me feel good. To make me feel accomplished. To make me feel like this day was not a complete waste.

But it took awhile to make myself get up and just do it. I don’t know exactly what made it finally click, but it did, and I’m sure glad it did. Maybe this post is what makes it post for someone else.

It’s great to have dreams and to have desires for your life. It’s even better when you act on them. It may seem really difficult and you may feel like you just weren’t meant to do anything great. That is the furthest thing from the truth. The world is anxiously waiting for us all to fulfill our potential. You just have to  start with Step 1: Get Up.

The hardest step

First Post Jitters

first post

 

Whew. It here goes. My very first post! Let the complete mess begin. 🙂

I have been really excited about starting my first blog since I created my login for WordPress a few days ago. I can’t help but picture the possibilities of what this could become. I admit, I’m a bit of a dreamer. A big dreamer. For someone who has all these big and amazing dreams, I live a pretty mundane life. Don’t get me wrong, I love my little family and the life we have together, but there are times I just feel this restlessness to do something great. I’m still not sure what “something great” is, but I know it will happen in the right timing.

Anyway, back to focus. Blog excitement….and overwhelm-ment (yeah, new word. Well word-ish thing). Yeah, word of advice, don’t try to learn everything in your first couple of days of starting a blog…or in your first couple of months even. There is so much to learn! Some of it is not even English to me! CMS, CSS, SEO, XYZ. Ha. Okay. So I added that last one but it really could mean something for all I know. What I’m trying to say is that blogging is much more difficult than I thought. But I’m not going to give it up. I’m going to give this a real shot. As I mentioned before, who knows what this could become.

So after learning how blog illiterate I am, I decided to slow it down to basics. Really really basic. Right now I think it’s best just to focus on content instead of the technicality of it all. Eventually that will all come together. I hope.

So to wrap it up, I’ll just say, Wish me luck!